I bet my patronus would be a harp seal
can you imagine. what do you even do if your patronus is a seal.
all the stags and jack russel terriers and horses charge at the dementors and then yours just appears and
hello friend no more sadness today
All shrek taught me was that if you want someone more attractive than you you have to wait till they’re ugly then swoop in
i want a tampon/pad advert where it’s just a woman in full battle uniform tearing through piles and piles of opponents with a sword and sometimes her bare hands and in the end while she’s standing on a pile of dead bodies a little blood trickles down her thigh and she sighs dramatically and the caption’s like
"YOU BELONG IN THE BLOOD OF YOUR ENEMIES.
NOT YOUR UTERUS.”
I HAVE WANTED THIS FOR SO LONG
Therapist: Okay let’s start with some word association.
You: Sounds Good.
Therapist: BlueYou: TARDISTherapist: VehicleYou: ’67 Chevrolet ImpalaTherapist: PurpleYou: Shirt of SexTherapist: HelloYou: SweetieTherapist: HedgehogYou: Martin FreemanTherapist: FoodYou: PieTherapist: TieYou: Bowties, Bowties are cool.
Therapist: I’m sorry I can’t help you